It's easy to understand those who are not Jehovahs Witnesses are incorrigibly wicked ,end of.
edmond dantes
JoinedPosts by edmond dantes
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Latest Watchtower Magazine Increases Odds of Surviving Armageddon!
by TooBad TooSad in99% of all jw's believe and are taught that to survive armageddon that you must be a jw or as a minimum be.
associated with the jw's.
however the april 1 "public" issue of the watchtower has some interesting wording.
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edmond dantes
Hi Badboy,
You certainly know the right questions to ask. We had a dentist called Phill Mcavity.
We had a sister who had the powers of a witch ,when she put her hand on your knee you would turn into a layby.
Charles Dickens met a man called Moses but the man had a cold at the time and when he pronounced his name he said Boses so Dickens used the name as a pen name but shortened it to Boz .Hence Sketches by Boz. Not many people know that.
I heard of Luke Lively quite often before going out in the ministry.
There was Ham on a congregational picnic once.
We had some Worthie Originals .
We had a few Cretins.
Bro. Dipstick, well that's what I heard him refered to.
There was a brother disfellowshipped for armed robbery his name Robin Banks.
I don't know how to clean this one up but here goes.We went for a chinese meal after the meeting and once inside I went into the kitchen and asked are you W**king the chef and he said no I'm Fo*king the cook.
Well you did ask.
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Witness Propaganda= Hitler lost the War = He persecuted the Witnesses!!
by Witness 007 inwe were always told that hitler lost the war because of putting brothers in the concentration camp.
yes, jehovah "arranged" the whole thing.
same with the soviet union.
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edmond dantes
There's a term for it ,an expression, it's called delusions of grandeur.
Actualy it's a psycotic illness unfortanately the Jdubs have it in spades.
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edmond dantes
For Badboy,
Turning to his second in command Russell, Letsby said, "I'm going to crack this case ." To which Charlie Russell replied, "that crate of vintage wine which the Governing Body sent to you, I thought you were going to save it for a special birthday celebration?" "Not that case," came back the reply ," I am talking about the murder enquiry, the vintage can wait for now ,although I don't want to leave it around for the memorial ,the number of partakers are increasing you know and it will soon get consumed at the present rate of growth.
The following morning Letsby walked briskly into the mortuary. I hate this depressing place ,cold and drab with a body on the slab, he thought to himself. "Hello is anybody there?" his voice echoed through the canyons of tiled rooms."Can I help you?" a very deep sonorous voice belted out just behind his left ear causing him to jump a foot in the air. "I wish you wouldn't do that," said the police officer to the mortuary attendant,"you'll be the death of me, one of these days." Sorry about that but it's the only fun I get around here with all these filing cabinets full of the deceased, look! ,six in yesterday all needing an autopsy," exclaimed Ivor Goodbody ."Listen up Ivor, I'm in rather a rush to get an autopsy report finalised .A chap was brought in yesterday by the name of I M Aborgman . He was ; until his untimely demise, a traveling overseer for a religious cult ,a gee up man you might say." The attendant replied ," You are a worring little sausage aren't you, have no fear Ivor is here , we have worked through the night and everything is complete, You can slide the poor soul out in order to look at him and then I will get the paper work for you.Are you ready,? notice how the new electronic no touch stainless steel filing cabinets operate, just wave your hand over the bar code but stand to one side because the runners are very responsive.Just at that moment whilst Letsby stood back waving at the cabinet in front of him ,a body file struck him from the rear knocking him to the cold marble floor."What the( expletive deleted )is going on here Mr. Goodbody?" said the chief as he tried to recover his dignity and stand upright." I am so sorry," retorted Ivor "we have been experiencing some teething troubles with the lasers, I think the bar codes have got put on the wrong boxes.Would you like to lie down for a minute while a fetch you a drink?" "Are you kidding me,? if lie down in here I'm likely to end up with a white shroud covering my naked body," said Letsby feeling very nervous by this time. Ivor by now was feeling very abashed and stared down at his feet and said to the police officer, "well there's no need to cut up rough." With that Letsby Avingyou snatched up the paper work and ran from the building shouting "that's what I'm afraid of."
To be continued after the break.
Disclaimer; The details of the fictional account above bears no resembelence to any person dead or alive unless somebody knows anything different .
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Check out this JW on this dating site
by What-A-Coincidence inclick to see his pictures.
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member4736848.htm.
i live in the bloomfield hills area....i'm 21 and not a crazy drinker...i have 1-2 beers and i stop...don't need a dui.
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edmond dantes
Can I be in charge of crowd control?
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So who here has seen Russels grave? Weird huh?
by oompa ini just found out my 67 year old elder/dad has been there too, with his sister who used to live up that way.
it is freaky-deaky weird/scary.
why the hey would jesus pick a weirdo group that thinks pagan egyptian pyramids (who used to enslave and torture gods people) could give the answer to his second coming....pathetic...................oompa
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edmond dantes
I have heard of burials on Boot Hill ,that looks more like Hoot Hill.
On the way to the burial ground Charlie's funeral hearse had to climb a very steep hill when all of a sudden the coffin slid out the back of the transport and off it went all the way back down the hill and through the village straight into a chemist shop .The pharmacist stood there petrified in deathly silence as on it moved . Just then the lid flew off and Charlie sat bolt upright, white as a ghost, still in his toga , slowly turned his head and said," as anyone got anything to stop me coffin."
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Kids and imaginary friends....are they really imaginary?
by ButtLight ini never had one growing up, at least not to my knowledge.
none of my kids did either.
did any of your kids?
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edmond dantes
Hi Butt Light,
I had a Kingdom Hall full of them until I realised they were not my real friends .
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edmond dantes
All our KH lights were phazed out because they were Victorian oil lamps and considered to be old light.
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edmond dantes
Badboy Hi,
Love your questions. Answer to the latest ----- If they were all demolished and turned into oil refinerys.
Or were taken over by Greenpeace or not until the new world or turned over to bonsai growing but it would have to be a small branch.
Or made into the habitation of bats.What's that you say it's full of bats allready.
A grape vine growing through the roof then you could sit on the roof and hear the meeting through it.
WIND FARM ! every one knows it's windy. Bean stalks growing; then they could really find out if fairy tales are real.
Wind Farm!, each could turn to his neighbour and say if you don't know the words to the kingdom melody be like the wind turbine and hum.
This KH doesn't half hum . I 've gone green.
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watchtower leaders have their say
by edmond dantes insuppose charlie russell, judge joe etc.
wrote their life story can you suggest titles : for example:.
from rags to riches.
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edmond dantes
Suppose Charlie Russell, Judge Joe etc. wrote their life story can you suggest titles : for example:
From Rags to Riches. Charles Taze Russell
Divine Plan of the Wages Charles Taze Russell.
Mansions and Cadillacs . Joesph Rutherford
From Prophet to Profiteering " "
Jehovahs' Witnesses' and my part part in Hitlers' downfall Nathan Knorr.
Kingdom Hall Franchise and an ideas man ( PUB.1946) " "
It's all Greek to me Frederick Franz
My Way and the five star Bible translation . Frederick Franz
Scrabble championship losers and our inability to translate YHWH Ted Jaracz
Am I bothered !,my life as a Top Notch Gene Smalley
Three Steps to Heavan David Splane
What a good read!